You can learn a lot from Dummies Part 2
Some of the biggest blunders of the last century: Hitler’s attack on the Soviet Union, the Design of the Spruce Goose, Monica Lewinsky’s decision to work late one night, Donald Trump’s hair cut, Howard the Duck and Lucas’s decision to return to directing, and Ebert settling with Richard Roeper. In the words of Ebert quoting Jean Luc Godard quoting himself in the book JLG on JLG, when you criticize a movie, the best way is the make the criticism into a small movie in itself. Apprently this was one of a very few times Ebert decided not to follow this advise. I didn’t think much of it at the time about Siskel’s replacement; a seat was open, have to fill it, but no one said you had to put crap there. OK, OK, that’s a little immature. Let’s break it down, Ebert knows what he’s talking about, typically, he will back up his opinions with certain facts, anecdotes, journalistic intuition, etc. to sell you his ideas and opinions. Roeper’s favorite movie is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Not that this high school comedy by the great 80’s teen comedy master (also from Chicago) John Hughes is a bad movie, but if you express your opinion on anything so strongly, with great passion and enthusiasm; even if that opinion seems ridiculously benign or non-objective, you could still earn some cred and respect from peers in your industry and colleague. The whole film industry atomizes itself around this idea of acceptance and pats-on-the-back, there are no rooms for claims of self-important criticism which only translate to nothing more than opinions express out of indulgence; and what monkey on this earth can’t do the same through the act of public masturbation? I don’t care if you choose the Toxic Avenger over Lawrence of Arabia as your favorite movie of all time; but when that opinion is questioned, defend Toxic Avenger like the plane was going down. Though it is only a matter of opinion, be it my opinion, I believe Roeper’s reviews are soulless, dispassionate, lacking insight, lacking character and validity to ever be considered or regarded as a “well expressed opinion of a film expert.” So picture my disbelieve as I watch the Oscar’s red carpet and saw an uncomfortable RR trying his best to be witty and relevant with passing celebrities; how truly sad I was to see people of little substance being interviewed by a callus statue carpet ornament, and here I am, getting a poor review of how my past year and a half in the retail shoe business have been lack luster. Maybe Roeper and I should swap, but even then, I don’t hate my current boss that much. And folks, that’s why I hate Richard Roeper, and you should too. Its fun, go on, say something bad about him, you’ll feel a lot better toward that movie you liked and he thrashed. Dear friends, I end with Love and Squalor.
Labels: Critics Get Bent
