Amon's Chopsticks

I'm glad that unlike most DP Vittorio Storaro have fully embraced the digital HD medium. That being said, cropping the original aspect ratio for the films that he shot for DVD release is terrible. See the Criterion DVD release for The Last Emperor, VS approved version has been cropped and zoomed to fit 2.20:1 from it's original 2.35:1 to accommodate your HD TV sets of 1.78:1 AR. This is sacrilege. I know, I know, who I am to say this, it's more his work than mine (or ours - the fans and the viewing masses), but being a fan and one of the viewing masses, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, it has become a collectively shared, cherished aesthetic property. When others poke fun or scrutinizes the film, the fans are the first to champion the piece, therefore, there's a level of mutual responsibility by the film makers and the film fans to respect the original work of art on all levels. Star Wars shouldn't be retouched and re-shot with new scene 20 years later for the sake of commercial appeal to a new generation, screw the new generation! It won't mean as much to them as it means to the generation that first experienced it fresh. It's a different time, different social, political, economic culture; people think differently, no matter what you do to the film(s), it will be accepted, or rejected in a different manner under different times and situation. Secondly, if you (VS) really intended for the film to be 2.20:1 then why did you shoot in 2.35:1? Then you should have shot it in 2.20:1 or at least matted the 2.35:1 down to 2.20:1 for the theatrical projection. This is a bunch of BS, I was mad, but ok, I'll accept directors going back to old materials and editing in previously un-used scene(s), but DPs butchering the frame and composition to sell DVDs, forget it. I'm really sad that Bertolucci or even Criterion themselves gave no opposition to such an obviously anti-scholastic decision, especially since there are very few "decent" (even half-way decent) editions of this film available on DVD. Please see the screen shot comparison at http://www.dvdbeaver.com/film/dvdcompare/lastemperor.htm and you will see the extent of the damage. It's heart breaking because the transfer of the criterion is so amazing, as always. Dear Mr. Storaro, since you find it so easy, non-nonchalantly even, to defecate on your previous works, not just The Last Emperor (I've heard you also re-framed Apocalypse Now and Reds for DVD release), may I suggest not to waste other people's money and time, including community of fans and admirers of your work, first, acquire all remaining prints, including negatives, inter-positives, etc., of your work, and you will have an unlimited supply of floss for your teeth, so much so you can even sell your own brand of dental floss, dental hygiene is very important, and there's just too much money on the table for you to waste time with petty, drop-in-the-well, DVD releases. Perhaps your own brand of toilet paper. I wonder how brilliantly photographed film will feel on my ass; perhaps blissful, please don't squeeze the Last Emperor can be your commercial tag line. Perhaps you can poke holes in it and make a coffee filter, espresso of course. Or baby diapers for your grand kids (or yourself in a few years), or perhaps recycle them to be reuse to film such modern classics as Meet the Spartans or any of the gems directed by Tyler Perry. Please use your imagination, oh...excuse me, you have obviously already filed bankruptcy in the imagination department.

Labels: Films on DVD

About the Sun, I completely Paul on his review of the Sun, however, where the movie failed for me was the absolute miscast by Sokurov to pick Robert Dawson as MacArthur. This was a tragic and a huge miscalculation on all fronts, and quite frankly, and amateurish mistake by a decent director. Having seen Moloch but not Taurus, the Sun being billed as part of Sokurov's "tetrology" about emperors, dictators, rulers, etc. (Moloch was about the dead-pan, social aspect dissection of Eva Braun and Hitler). With all of his past flaws aside from past films, let me focus on the Sun. Robert Dawson is a decent man, I'm sure, trying hard to bust through the wall with his "big break", and by all means Sokurov handed him fastidiously MacArthur on a silver platter, couldn't have been better for Mr. Dawson. And most genuinely (potentially) great actors will come up on top and deliver; and there are also the other half of the acting population who are handed a "big break" and of course faded away like ice in water. I believe, sadly, Robert Dawson fits the bill of the latter. If you were to carefully comb through the credentials of Robert Dawson you will see that even as an extra, the films he appeared in as an extra in third tier films. Films that you don’t just miss Dawson if you blink, they’re films of the caliber of the blink and you forget everything about the entire film. Let’s play a game, I will now pretend to be Sokurov and review Mr. Dawson’s resume, what will be the one role that will convince me to give this heavy character of MacArthur to Dawson. The Competition, Richard Dreyfuss 1st attempt at a lead in a movie (Not in Close Encounters of the 3rd kind, I consider the SFX and the Aliens, and some degree Truffaut, as the leads), flanked by soon to be Mrs. Spielberg and Mrs. Ex-Spielberg, Amy Irving. Dawson, you played “Recorder Player” humm, ok, ok, that was you first officially gig, it’s ok, let move on. The Couch Trip, let me just sum this dismal masterpiece with the list of the lead cast, Dan Aykroyd, Walter Matthau, Charles Grodin, Donna Dixon, ok, let me stop before I become sick inside, you played “man at party.” Humm, let’s keep going. Your next one is a TV movie, lets save us both the embarrassment and skip that one. Ok, then we got, dear god, Fletch Lives, yes, that Fletch live, yes, that Chevy Chase, ok, same as the last one, lest just skim through it and see what catches our eyes, Class of Nuke’Em High, part II-Subhumanoid Meltdown no less, blah, blah, blah, meaningless TV film extra roles. Obscure B-movie roles, moving up from being extra, getting more meaty rol….oops, back as an extra as the Embassy Employee in The Card Player, then a lead role in a TV movie than here we are, The Sun. The audition was phenomenal, astounding, ridiculously brilliant, or maybe Dawson came cheap and money was tight (money is always tight or Dawson just uses his tongue very well…so be the case, because in the end the movie is not entirely about the relationship with Hirohito and MacArthur (not entirely), however, Issei Ogata, didn’t come off the acting boat like Dawson, especially Edward Yang’s masterpiece Yi Yi: A One and a Two. For me is a matter of what both actors bring to the role, Ogata brought his A game, he had to, this was the Emperor of Japan we’re talking about, both prestige and stigma attached to the role, while Dawson brought what he has under his belt, Recorder Player, Man at Party…this singularity, is the discrediting factor of The Sun’s inability to move beyond meditations in caricature to a complex character study between two people that lead two nations through a war that neither men completely understood and to a certain extent; wanted involvement. Dawson’s weak link snapped the whole chain that is The Sun. In the end, Sokurov is as much to blame for such negligence as Dawson’s own acting. Movies like The Sun do not direct themselves. Check out Downfall, the German counterpart to The Sun, of course Hitler was a more well define evil of WWII, and in some ways easier to dissect than Hirohito (I feel a bit over done here by Bruno Ganz – ironically was considered for the part of Schindler in Schindler’s List – but I guess you have too be crazy and over the top to murder 8 million plus people). Hirohito is not so easily labeled as most of the outsiders of Japan (including other Asian countries that suffered under the cruelty of the Imperial Army that quickly dismisses Hirohito as guilty by association) have come to believe. I know a lot about Hirohito, and both side of the argument, my ancestry and hatred for the crimes of the Japanese Imperial Army of WWII refuses to give quarter to anything Japanese of WWII, in the same respect, the facts are so squeaked and manipulated to the point that I have very little confidence in Hirohito’s involvement or disengagement with the goings-on of the Pacific conflict to make a rational assessment; and who knows if the facts were manipulated to protect Hirohito from persecution, because if the embodiment of Japan was on trail for crime against humanity, than all of Japan would also be sticking it’s head in the noose as well. But is responsibility and reconciliation such a bad thing? I don’t know, ask a German.

Final thought is only to say that The Sun, as Paul states, labors hard not to be a political podium to the viewers; but in the end, it can’t help but get involved into the political canvas, especially when you are speaking of Hirohito and MacArthur or else it will be a shoe seller trying to sell shoes without shoe strings…yeah…good luck with that, so I would personally believe that Sokurov should have spent more time with his actors and less time trying not to be political; or if he is insistent, may I suggests remaking Marie Antoinette? You can't get less meaningless or political as that. Sayonara, The Sun.

Labels: Parasite Reviews

We don't really get any deals with anybody, but we love movies too much not to share our channels with the zero readers that are a bit shy at leaving us comments, so FYI whoever is reading this; Memories of Matsuko is an amazing movie. Be one of the coolest people on your block to see this film first, even before it hits US theaters, show off to friends and love one. Girls will want to sleep with you and maybe even men too. If you are adventurous, you can buy the movie at www.Sensasian.com, they have about two DVD versions, with very good prices as well as a VCD version at a cheaper price, but get the DVD, it's couple bucks more, but the picture and sound quality is important for this film. The bare minimum DVD is dual layer with DTS and Dolby Digital 5.1. no extras, just the menu and film. There is also a Special Edition that has a bit more extras, but of course a few dollars more than the basic DVD. Or if you are a bit more conservative with your DVD purchases, look into the Asian "Netflix" called eHit at www.eHit.com. MoM DVD is available for rental, a bit of a wait, but worth every minute. eHit is also a very good resource for Asian film rental in general. Enjoy.

Labels: Films on DVD

Thermopylae, the Spartans last stand at the hot gates defending their rights to enslave the Helots, force them to work the land, and send out youth death squads to commit murder on the ones that seems to be getting a bit too independent (how’s that for a run-on sentence?); nice work, very nice indeed. So I’ve read countless of forums and review on this film by Zack “metaphor-less” Snyder and based on the comic-book, or the cosmopolitan term graphic novel by Frank Miller. First and foremost, I love Frank Miller, if I had a first born, and he was into collecting first born; well, you know. So no questioning my love and admiration for Frank, undisputed since the first day I cracked open the mint binding of Frank Miller’s the Dark Knight Returns, you couldn’t convince me to curse his name. Like most public school kids who knew a lot about small arms and close to nothing about classical history; a question was thrust upon me three years back as I was checking out of a Home Depot store, making a purchase for a supplies for a now much regrettable small indie filmed I volunteered as a grip on (if you’re that interested, look up my name on IMDB – I know, exactly), What was the single most important battle in Western Civilization? A well educated and intelligent man would have really thought about it and had enough character to say “I don’t know” if that was the case, I was neither of those things, so I guessed my ass-off. They were not even educated guesses, as random as I can come up with movie titles starting with the word “The Battle…” After losing patients with my complete lack of investment in a half decent answer to his question; Thermopylae (and I’m sure he followed with “you idiot” to himself), even the minimum wage cashier nodded her head in agreement with my friend, “I’m afraid he right” she said. Yes, we needed that validation, I’m sure. Cut to: Parking Lot, he continues on to tell me the story of the 300 Spartans and King Leonidas sacrifice against the massive Persian army of Xerxes. How we would all be speaking Persian now if the Spartans did not slow down the Xerxes enough for the Athenians to prepare for the Persian. Since we get our laws, some of the language, culture, anal-sex, from the Greeks, we would have none of that if Xerxes descended on the capital. True. But besides from being misinformed, I’m terribly stubborn and like to check things out for myself. He’s right. However, there are certain undisputable facts, mixed with some exaggeration en mass. So I found out what I could. Last summer, during my knowledge accumulating (whom am I kidding, surfing the net for movie news), I found out they are turning 300 into a movie. Great! Love Frank, know a lot about Thermopylae. A small note, incase you haven’t noticed by now, between the months of February and May is known widely in Hollywood circles as a dumping ground; too early for Oscars (they will never remember you), and people are thawing with the winter weather, outdoor activities increases, no one wants to spend two hours in a cozy theater; hence the high quality of materials that get a pre-memorial day hit. Look at the history, look at what is released in the spring, films that either cost nothing to make, or filled with nameless actors as if they were giving out fake names, movies that have sat on the shelf for years that even Joel Silver wouldn’t touch even if you pour pounds of cocaine on the print. So I was a bit suspicious at their motive for releasing 300 during dead time. What was pretext are now the past, and the gambled work against the back drop of political clashes that parallels the film. A typical Hollywood film provokes some love, some hate, and some gray areas. Not 300. The consensus is, love it and the other side calls you a Nazi sympathizer; hate it, and the other side says you are unpatriotic and are against freedom, Frank Miller’s interpretation of Spartan freedom. It’s noteworthy to point out that Frank was inspired not so much by the actual events at Thermopylae, but rather the 1962 film 300 Spartans (once again, bunch of Brits playing Greeks and Spartans; and not a very good movie at that, but while I reserve judgment on Frank’s muses, you do have to take into account that 300 is based on a graphic novel, and is very sympathetic towards the Spartan, nothing short of pathos reminiscent of Jet Li’s last scene in Hero. Which brings me to the point that the context of this story is nothing more than Frank’s adolescent psyche hero worship; and there’s not really anything malice or indifferent about that; (here comes that big BUT) but, Zacky boy, in my opinion, was a poor choice to direct mainly attributed to the fact that he does not know how to control his story. Visually stunning, but ultimately meaningless, made solely for the frat-boy, by a frat-man I’m sure. This movie is so full of ambiguousness where they should be clear and clear on things they should have been a bit more ambiguous it leaves me flat; walking out angry, but not so sure what I am angry about. Similar to the first time I saw the Eternal Jew. A very well done prapagandoc, but sick to my stomach to think that people believe this. Speaking of Indiana Jones's arch enemies, was it not Hitler who said "the bigger the lie, the more it will be believed." I think it sums up this film and the people's reaction nicely. Another Nazi side note, to stir up morale and fighting spirit, the German propaganda machine of WWII used the story of the 300 Spartans to "uplift" the troops to kill for Deutschland. Not that the allies were completely innocent of pure propaganda themselves, everybody is guilty on this subject, but within it's lascivious context, the Nazi believed that the Spartans are the descendants of the original Aryans, Atlantians, so in their mind, is not so far fetched to believe a lie that is so preposterous. Only small lies are doomed to fail, so take note all of you boys and girls out there, if you have to lie anyway, make it monstrous, like this film. Everything about this film is highly argumentative on both side, everything is flexible and manipulate-able; so it is pointless for me to list all the fact versus myth and story telling. I offer no solutions if you are looking one, only if by some odd logic that 300 can be considered as a sequel to Zacky’s first flick, the remake of Dawn of the Dead, which in all fairness was an entertaining movie, but also lacked the social commentary of the original, not that I think all too highly of George Romero, but it was at least something more than just a zombie movie; however, not the remake, and definitely not 300. I don’t want to attribute that to incompetence on Zacky’s part, but it seems to be very anti-scholastic endeavor, almost purposely; hence a frat-boy flick directed by a frat-man.

Labels: Film Flim

Hey you! Yeah you! Should I send this letter to Ebert, Roeper and the Chicago Sun-Times? Let me know…yes you…let me know what you think! Leave me a comment. Yes or No? Hurry, the more time you waste, we lose another misguided film enthusiasts to this moron each and every minute. Stop the madness! Unlike them, your opinions matters to us!

Labels: Critics Get Bent

Some of the biggest blunders of the last century: Hitler’s attack on the Soviet Union, the Design of the Spruce Goose, Monica Lewinsky’s decision to work late one night, Donald Trump’s hair cut, Howard the Duck and Lucas’s decision to return to directing, and Ebert settling with Richard Roeper. In the words of Ebert quoting Jean Luc Godard quoting himself in the book JLG on JLG, when you criticize a movie, the best way is the make the criticism into a small movie in itself. Apprently this was one of a very few times Ebert decided not to follow this advise. I didn’t think much of it at the time about Siskel’s replacement; a seat was open, have to fill it, but no one said you had to put crap there. OK, OK, that’s a little immature. Let’s break it down, Ebert knows what he’s talking about, typically, he will back up his opinions with certain facts, anecdotes, journalistic intuition, etc. to sell you his ideas and opinions. Roeper’s favorite movie is Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. Not that this high school comedy by the great 80’s teen comedy master (also from Chicago) John Hughes is a bad movie, but if you express your opinion on anything so strongly, with great passion and enthusiasm; even if that opinion seems ridiculously benign or non-objective, you could still earn some cred and respect from peers in your industry and colleague. The whole film industry atomizes itself around this idea of acceptance and pats-on-the-back, there are no rooms for claims of self-important criticism which only translate to nothing more than opinions express out of indulgence; and what monkey on this earth can’t do the same through the act of public masturbation? I don’t care if you choose the Toxic Avenger over Lawrence of Arabia as your favorite movie of all time; but when that opinion is questioned, defend Toxic Avenger like the plane was going down. Though it is only a matter of opinion, be it my opinion, I believe Roeper’s reviews are soulless, dispassionate, lacking insight, lacking character and validity to ever be considered or regarded as a “well expressed opinion of a film expert.” So picture my disbelieve as I watch the Oscar’s red carpet and saw an uncomfortable RR trying his best to be witty and relevant with passing celebrities; how truly sad I was to see people of little substance being interviewed by a callus statue carpet ornament, and here I am, getting a poor review of how my past year and a half in the retail shoe business have been lack luster. Maybe Roeper and I should swap, but even then, I don’t hate my current boss that much. And folks, that’s why I hate Richard Roeper, and you should too. Its fun, go on, say something bad about him, you’ll feel a lot better toward that movie you liked and he thrashed. Dear friends, I end with Love and Squalor.

Labels: Critics Get Bent

So I got my review at my day job yesterday, not a very good review, shockingly bad actually, my utter lack of maturely and professionalism has lead me to due nothing more than a revenge review on movie critics, mainly Richard Roeper of the Chicago Sun-times. This issue has been sitting in front of me like a juicy porter stake since I saw him at this year’s Oscars, filling in for Roger Ebert (there’s a fat joke in there somewhere, but I’m sure he’s heard it all, so I’ll move on). A bit “his story” lesson about me. I grew up Northwest Indiana; affectionately refer to as “the Region” by the rest of Indiana. We were heavily influenced by Chicago that I still don’t understand why we just don’t separate from Indiana and latch onto Chicago anyway; Hammond, Indiana to be exact. To me, even at a young age, films and movies were as important as a priority as eating or going to the bathroom. Not really understand English to well when I first arrived in the spring of 1980, I would watch a lot of PBS, you know, all those learning shows; ZOOM (with their stripe shirts signing that lyrically bankrupted song of their’s), 3-2-1 Contact, Electric Company (mainly for the Spiderman segment, because it was cool), and not so much Sesame Street (felt it was a bit too childish for me, yeah, I was too mature at the age of 8 for Sesame Street, go figure), so I came across this show with this rather large guy and a tall skinny balding guy arguing and talking about something and showing movie clips in between. At first, I just thought it was cool to see movie clips on TV (it was the early 80s, give me a break, not a lot to do for an 8 year-old); as I progressed with my English, it started to make sense that they are talking about different aspects of the movie, criticizing it [how cool is that job?], so I watch the show more and more, which at the time was called Sneak Previews with Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel, with the thumbs up-and-down thing. Then they moved from PBS to WGN (channel 9 Chicago) then changed to At the Movies. Their old show on PBS was given to two of the most idiotic film critics ever to set eyes on films (look for their own little review soon), I’ll leave their names of the list for now. Back to S&E, then they moved again to CBS (Channel 2, Chicago) this time simply, Siskel and Ebert, far enough. And once again, they left their legacy with WGN to, even more incompetent critics, Rex Reed and Bill Harris (somebody owes somebody a favor?). Oh, I can’t wait to talk about Reed and Harris, how they gave such a poor and offensive review of Platoon, saying and I quote (I still remember to this day), “the American people just don’t want to hear anymore about Vietnam, we are tired of it, let it go.” I ran out with friend and we snuck into Platoon that very weekend after seeing Nightmare on Elm Street 3. Then a few weeks later, Platoon getting a lot of praises and awards, they had a special episode devoted to how great Platoon was. It does not take a mature mind to recall all the credibility I had for these gods who get paid for writing and talking about their opinions on movies they’ve seen. This is fact, not made up; you are welcome to research for yourself. ACT II, for the most part, S&E were fair, and they made good arguments; some films I disagreed when I was young, then revisited them when I was a bit older and understood more, and then I agreed with them wholeheartedly, e.g. their reviews of Top Gun; flying jets, Kelly McGellis, things blowing up, young Meg Ryan, songs by Kenny Loggins, with the exception the latter, this was gold to an 11 year-old boy (of course I discovered the homoerotic subtext in my later years, but let not digress), but S&E thought the romantic interlude between Cruise and McGillis was labored and pointless. When you like a movie, and you like a critic, you almost which that they too would share the same opinion as you. They didn’t go for Top Gun; but in a form of Johnny come lately, seeing the movie again later in College, completely agree, so these guys actually know what they are talking about, I guess they don’t just give out Pulitzers to anybody. OK. Credibility is high. Then I saw Beyond the Valley of the Dolls…then…Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens (both are written by Ebert…let me ask the readers this, What do you want me to say? I wouldn’t say my respect for the guy dipped, come on, it was directed by Russ “big boobs” Myers (need I remind you again, I was still a relatively young man). Suffice to say that I continue to try and catch their show and reviews every chance I got, even down in West Lafayette Indiana. Then came the 2nd half of the 90s when I moved back home and into the big city. Things didn’t seems to make sense so much; thumbs-up on Speed 2? Thumbs-down on Air Force One? Up for another Jan de Bont flick The Haunting, down for Fight Club. What going on?! ACT III, it was unfortunate for Siskel, personally I felt that I share a personal relationship with these two guys watching them as I was growing and enjoying their, sometimes stagy but fun, verbal fights; though I really thing there was a better movie than Babe 2: Pig in the City for the 1998 year, you gave it the #1 movie of 98, so be it, given your condition and credibility, you’re allowed; besides, Ebert had Dark City, also a good movie, but nothing better that year? I could have sworn different. So Siskel past away, and for a while the chair across the aisle was being filled by unattractive people flanked by unmitigated opinions. No one was smart enough or strong enough to slug it out with the big man, with endless knowledge of movies and Pulitzer under the belt (which he never seizes to remind people), no one really stepped up. Enter Richard Roeper of the Chicago Sun-Times.

Labels: Critics Get Bent