On the Shinkansen (bullet train) I read these instructions on the back of the tray table: "For your safety don't rush for your train." Reasonable advice. Except that I'm already sitting on the train. Now, unless I'm actually moving backwards through life like Benjamin Buttons (which would explain some of my less flattering baby pictures), in order to be sitting in front of this tray table, I would have already rushed for my train. Yes? So why the delayed advice? Maybe it's just an English problem. Maybe it's meant to say. "Did you rush for your train? Well you shouldn't have. Every Japanese third grader knows that. And now you're sweating all over the plush Shinkansen seat. Why don't you take a few minutes and think about what you've done, Speedy. Then again, there's really not enough space on the back of a tray table for all that. So it'll probably require bigger tray tables and likely a whole new design concept. The phallic thing is only going to appeal to a certain segment of riders. Oh and we'll need a translator to get all that translated into Japanese. Hmm, difficult. Let's just leave it as it is.